Resting In Beauty
My heart has been in Africa for years prior to my passport allowing me entry into this continent. As a young girl, I heard many missionaries speak at my home church. Every time a missionary came, part of my little heart became fully alive. I knew that I wanted to be one of them, traveling the world and telling people about Jesus. I loved adventure, traveling, and Jesus, so this was the best possible combination for my future.
When I was in college, God called me to be a missionary. I prayed about where He wanted me to go. One country in Africa kept coming up again and again. This country became a home for my heart, even though I had never set foot in that nation. After college, a handful of my friends traveled to Africa as missionaries. Every single person I knew who had been to Africa had fallen fully and deeply in love with the continent and with whatever country they were in. Hearing story after story made my heart’s excitement for Africa grow.
Before I came on the Race, I was almost always under a lot of stress. Stress came from many angles–work, not knowing where the Lord was leading me, feeling stuck in my current life situation, not having a consistent schedule for anything, always having a lot of things to do, not knowing how to pursue the dreams that God had given me, trying to balance family and friends in the middle of all of that, rarely sleeping well, the list goes on and on. On the outside, I managed the stress well. I did not have many “freaking out” moments. On the inside, I was overwhelmed, with no way out.
Fast forward to month three of the Race.
It’s happened and yet it’s just starting. I’ve only been in Africa for about a day now (and part of it was spent in an airport), but I’ve felt an excitement, a peace, a coming home that I haven’t felt on the Race until now. When we landed, even though I was ridiculously tired & out of sorts, my soul rejoiced.
This month, my team is serving in Malawi. This is not the country that my heart fell in love with during college and has been praying for ever since (#ripSsquad), but my life changed forever the moment I stepped foot in Africa. It wasn’t long before my heart found the part of it that the Lord put in Africa before my arrival.
Last night at orientation, we were told not to cry or feel sorry for the people of Malawi (and their poverty). Yes, I’m sure my heart will break, but I can’t ever imagine feeling sorry for them. I’ve fallen in love with Malawi and it’s people already. Their joy and love is unlike any other! Our contact already refers to the five of us as his daughters. How could I ever feel sorry for people who show such love, just because their environment and culture are different than mine? Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve dreamed of coming to Africa to serve Jesus. How could I feel sorry for the people through whom God is choosing to make that dream & those years of prayer a reality? I’ve left my heart around the world before and will keep doing so during the Race. This month, I have a feeling that I will be also finding my heart, more than I’ve ever found it before.
My soul has found room in Malawi to breathe deeply. The joy of the Lord has multiplied in my heart, leaving no room for any worries, doubts, frustrations, burdens, or stresses. I am resting in His beauty; His beauty has set my heart free.